I took Megan to downtown Denver last Saturday to get her hair cut. It was free and we figured it was worth it to get her hair done by Gardner Edmunds who is learning to be a Stylist.
It took 3 hours if you can believe it!! I had a lot of time on my hands. This school she went to is right on the 16th street mall. It was Saturday morning about 8:30 a.m. I was surprised how many people are in downtown Denver at that time of the morning.
As I left the building she was in, a lady in a wheel chair who had only one leg approached me and asked for money. I declined but soon thought badly of myself about that. I always decline to give money to panhandlers that approach me but admittedly I had never been approached by someone like her. I walked on but turned to watch her go up the 16th Street mall asking everyone that came along. A good number stopped and gave her something...I have no idea how much. Not everyone but maybe half of who she approached seemed to give her something.
During that three hours I walked up and down the mall looking in windows and the like...even stopped to sit as it was a fairly nice morning, even if a bit chilly. I was approached 3 or 4 more times by different folks that morning and observed many other people who also were approached....some gave them something but most just walked on.
As I observed this part of life which I am somewhat insulated from, I pondered my own reaction to being approach so often by so many people that are apparently under real duress in their lives. I even went into a McDonalds where there were maybe a half dozen people eating or having some coffee but definitely looking like homeless folks. I wondered if that was going to be their meal for the day or if is just a routine they have to go from the street to a fast food place to feed themselves from whatever they can get.
My self examination about my reactions to this, I'm sure isn't that different than many of you when approached by these types of people. Many of them are obviously mentally challenged and many are pushing carts full of stuff and appear to have little if any worldly things...maybe barely enough to stay clothed.
Every time this happens to me I question what I really should do. It isn't the money...that I know. A couple of bucks here or there is nothing and has nothing to do with my feelings. I always wonder if by giving them something if I am somewhat enabling them to continue this life style rather than encouraging them to pull themselves up and improve their circumstances. I know this isn't probably in the cards for some of them...maybe most of them, but don't you wonder if some of them could get a job, could try and clean up, get off the booze and improve themselves if they really wanted to?
I so admire organizations and people who make this a job ...to try and help these sorts of people to get out of the horrible life they are living. It also seems to me or so my rationalizaton goes, that by giving them money it just prolongs the circumstances they find themselves in.
On the other hand, I worry that they don't eat well enough, don't have enough to keep them warm or anyway to clean up and change clothing and the like. It is troublesome and I thought to myself, "why don't I engage them in a conversation, see what their circumstances are and see if I can help in some way?" But I never do that....I usually just pass on by almost afraid of these folks and what they might do or say to me.
I think, if this was the Savior what would he do? I don't think he would pass them by, but I don't think he would encourage them by giving them a dole to continue on in the path they are going. What is the answer for us individually? I wish I knew this answer for myself.
I am between the proverbial rock and a hard spot on this as to how I feel about my own reaction and lack of action of any kind.
It is a bit of a moral dilemna to me and I was wondering if any of you have any insight or thoughts on the matter. It is something I have struggled with for a long time in my life.
I want to do what is right and I do have compassion for their circumstances but my actions would seem to contradict this statement.
What do you think and does anyone have similiar questions or feelings about this subject?
Dad
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3 comments:
I too struggle with this. I always feel guilty when I don't help somehow. I've heard of giving McDonnald's coupons so you know they use it for food, and not drugs or something. He just always had them in his wallet.
I think talking with them is a good idea. Because we really don't know their circumstances, and we might have some ideas to help them out.
Those are my two cents.
This is a tough subject. I grew up in Baltimore, which had a huge population of homeless folks, and from that I learned essentially not to give money to anyone -- even the women with children, as heartbreaking as that might be. I'll admit that occasionally I would not follow my own advice, but for the most part I adhered to a no-tolerance policy toward panhandlers. Ultimately it seems to be a question of whether or not to perpetuate a negative lifestyle...of course, there's really no way of knowing what "lifestyle" anyone really has unless you spend enough time to get to know said person. But how often can anyone really do that?
I guess the way to handle such a situation would be to either spend a lot of time in a homeless outreach sort of program, or to contribute financially to an organization that does it for you. Kind of bleak, I know, but then it's a pretty bleak situation. Every little bit helps.
Why didn't you just tell them how they have it so much better in America than in Bangladesh or Mongolia or Azerbaijan or Zimbabwe or Rwanda or Iraq or India or Bulgaria or Sierra Leone or Pakistan or Mexico or Guatemala or Libya or China or Sudan or Mozambique or Somalia or Transylvania or Canada or Britain or France or Japan or Sweden or some other god-forsaken horrible, run-down place that has no concept of freedom or democracy or opportunity or capitalism or prosperity and is full of Muslims who drink the blood of small children for breakfast?
Seriously, why didn't you say these things?
I'm being sarcastic. I used to live downtown, still work there, and am hassled by people like this on a daily basis. My standard, unwavering policy is "NO."
I once felt guilty about this too, but that was long before I lived downtown and I thought that the friendly guy who started a conversation with me on the corner of Colfax and Broadway was actually interested in being friends. I learned the truth real fast.
The big city can make one feel heartless, even if one is anything but. The important thing to remember is that people who "fly signs" generally do so for a reason -- it pays, often quite a bit if they're begging on some prime piece of real estate, like say Colfax and Speer.
I know a guy who used to work for Colorado Coalition for the Homeless, which is a charitable organization targeting such down-n-outs. He was vehemenently against giving these people money, for many reasons, one of which was that people who beg like that generally aren't going to be helped by your gift of $3.00, except in buying their next bottle of cheap vodka.
But the number one reason is that organizations have trouble raising money. Funny how people would rather give money to the dirty alchoholic on the corner than an organization that does a much better job of providing resources to people in need. Besides, the city is full of people trying to take advantage of each other, and to give somebody money because of their sob story (I've heard some doozies!) may feel good... until you hear the 10,000th one. Then, you might be a bit more skeptical.
I long ago stopped giving money to people who confront me on the street. Doesn't mean I don't have sympathy for them or that I think they're all losers. I just won't give them money. Simple enough.
I would rather support organizations and programs that can do a better job than I at determining who really needs help. Besides, I haven't got cash to give!
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