An Internal debate with myself

I took Megan to downtown Denver last Saturday to get her hair cut. It was free and we figured it was worth it to get her hair done by Gardner Edmunds who is learning to be a Stylist.

It took 3 hours if you can believe it!! I had a lot of time on my hands. This school she went to is right on the 16th street mall. It was Saturday morning about 8:30 a.m. I was surprised how many people are in downtown Denver at that time of the morning.

As I left the building she was in, a lady in a wheel chair who had only one leg approached me and asked for money. I declined but soon thought badly of myself about that. I always decline to give money to panhandlers that approach me but admittedly I had never been approached by someone like her. I walked on but turned to watch her go up the 16th Street mall asking everyone that came along. A good number stopped and gave her something...I have no idea how much. Not everyone but maybe half of who she approached seemed to give her something.

During that three hours I walked up and down the mall looking in windows and the like...even stopped to sit as it was a fairly nice morning, even if a bit chilly. I was approached 3 or 4 more times by different folks that morning and observed many other people who also were approached....some gave them something but most just walked on.

As I observed this part of life which I am somewhat insulated from, I pondered my own reaction to being approach so often by so many people that are apparently under real duress in their lives. I even went into a McDonalds where there were maybe a half dozen people eating or having some coffee but definitely looking like homeless folks. I wondered if that was going to be their meal for the day or if is just a routine they have to go from the street to a fast food place to feed themselves from whatever they can get.

My self examination about my reactions to this, I'm sure isn't that different than many of you when approached by these types of people. Many of them are obviously mentally challenged and many are pushing carts full of stuff and appear to have little if any worldly things...maybe barely enough to stay clothed.

Every time this happens to me I question what I really should do. It isn't the money...that I know. A couple of bucks here or there is nothing and has nothing to do with my feelings. I always wonder if by giving them something if I am somewhat enabling them to continue this life style rather than encouraging them to pull themselves up and improve their circumstances. I know this isn't probably in the cards for some of them...maybe most of them, but don't you wonder if some of them could get a job, could try and clean up, get off the booze and improve themselves if they really wanted to?
I so admire organizations and people who make this a job ...to try and help these sorts of people to get out of the horrible life they are living. It also seems to me or so my rationalizaton goes, that by giving them money it just prolongs the circumstances they find themselves in.

On the other hand, I worry that they don't eat well enough, don't have enough to keep them warm or anyway to clean up and change clothing and the like. It is troublesome and I thought to myself, "why don't I engage them in a conversation, see what their circumstances are and see if I can help in some way?" But I never do that....I usually just pass on by almost afraid of these folks and what they might do or say to me.

I think, if this was the Savior what would he do? I don't think he would pass them by, but I don't think he would encourage them by giving them a dole to continue on in the path they are going. What is the answer for us individually? I wish I knew this answer for myself.

I am between the proverbial rock and a hard spot on this as to how I feel about my own reaction and lack of action of any kind.

It is a bit of a moral dilemna to me and I was wondering if any of you have any insight or thoughts on the matter. It is something I have struggled with for a long time in my life.

I want to do what is right and I do have compassion for their circumstances but my actions would seem to contradict this statement.

What do you think and does anyone have similiar questions or feelings about this subject?

Dad